2001 Spider D Hog Hunt

Well, here's the report on the 2nd Annual Spider D '69 Hog Hunt. Frank and I were surprised that none of you showed up but we went ahead with it and had a great time. Frank is now big buddies with the wealthy ranch owner so he sent his private jet to pick me up. Twenty minutes later, we were there. They picked me up in a HumV and away we went. They have built a new 5000 sq. ft hunting cabin with all the amenities. The cook there grilled the best beef fajitas that evening that I have ever eaten. My room overlooked the view of the newly built 2 acre bass pond. Hot water in the showers and a Jacuzzi bath. No more rats running around like the trailers. Next morning I was greeted with coffee in bed by a sweet senorita. Breakfast was juevos rancheros. Yum Yum. We then proceeded out for the hog hunt. I immediately killed an 800 pound hog, a world record if they kept them. It has tusks that were 18 inches long. I then photographed a deer that after careful analysis of the picture by the ranch game biologist, would have graded out 325 points on the Boone and Crockett scale. Would have been a world record if I shot it. After lunch of enchiladas and all the trimmings, we headed for the bass pond. On the first cast, I caught a 24 lb Black bass which is a world's record. You should see it in all the sports pages soon. Then out of nowhere, the Swedish Bikini Team parachuted in and began parading their wares around us. We told them that we were not interested, so they left. We then headed out for a quail hunt. I shot 4 with one shot and 6 with the next shot. We barbequed them for supper along with the typical shrimp and crab dinner. That evening we watched live Las Vegas shows that were piped in by the new TV dish. Not just anyone can get those. The next morning, we went down to the creek and out of self defense, I had to wrestle a 24 foot alligator and finally had to take him out. It was also a world record. After a nice lunch, we went out messing with a metal detector. I quickly came on something, dug down a few feet and uncovered a hidden Spanish treasure of gold and silver. Estimated value at $12 million. At this point, I was exhausted so their helicopter picked me and took me home. Dropped me off in my back yard. What a weekend. You all should try to make it next year. Right Frank?

Nail